"I don't remember,lighting this cigarette
And I don't remember,
if I'm here alone
or waiting for someone."
- Leonard Cohen
My final grades
92
88
86
81
81
69
when you try your hardest, but it's not good enough
My oh my
Expectation is the root of heartache - William Shakespeare
Yesterday, I was supposed to be getting my braces off. I was excited all week. I had 6 exams to get through until Saturday and in my mind, I was thinking, "Oh yeah, if I can make it through these exams, I'll be able to get my braces off!" Unfortunately, 15 minutes in the appointment; one of the assistants found out I had a tiny space between two of my top teeth on my right jaw. ARGH. Now I have to wear elastics AND wait 2 weeks for another assessment. And let's just SAY that when I pass the assessment, I'll have to wait another 2 weeks after that until I get my braces off.
BUT
if I was to fail that assessment, I probably be back to square one and get my braces off in september or something. I'm so impatient. I've had them on for 3 years + and it's just so annoying having them :/
And another here is yet another disappointment. My phone has been broken for a month now because I damaged the charging port on it. I was hoping that my family friend could fix my phone because I really liked my phone. But today, he wasn't able to do anything. The damage is done. it's so frustrating not having a phone.......................because.............
this grade 12 guy in my pe class gave me his number and told me to text him this summer. he's kinda cute and my friends have been urging me to give him a chance and try to get to know him. but i CAN'T BECAUSE I DON'T HAVE A GODDAMN PHONE.
WHAT DO I DO.
Labels: fk
When I'm About to Break - Vistee ft. Phantom
I haven't updated this blog since my trip to Vietnam last year. Well, I've decided to keep it active. Although I have tumblr, it's not really something I can use to post about my life. I only have 7 followers on here, and most of them I don't think are active anymore but whatever HAHA.
My grades currently:
93% Biology
89% English
86% Psychology
84% Chemistry
79% Math
69% Physics <- ohmigod.
AVG = 83%
My grades this year are terrible. Sometimes being in a linear school system sucks. Although I do have an extra day to work on my homework; I wouldn't have to visit the same boring class every single day. Sometimes it's overwhelming with the amount of tests I get in the same week. :<
OH WELL. I'll push it to grade 12, when I return to north surrey (to others dismay, yes I may return.) I do not want to concentrate so hard on friends and all that stuff. That was so grade 10. Ever since I've gone to sands, i've began to realize the true nature of the people I used to be surrounded by. It's like that saying, "Once you see the flaws in your friends, you'll realize you have the exact same flaws." Ever since I don't see my regular friends since grade 8/9on a regular basis, you start to see some of them for what they really are. It's actually shocking to know I used to be like that too. Naive. Backstabbing. Manipulative. Childish. All the flaws I can see in everyone. The flaws I USED (or may still) to have. I'll still remain friends with these certain individuals. I still consider all of them my friends. I can never dislike or hate any of them. However, in the back of my head I know it'll never be the same again. No more of those daily text messages, long night conversations, sleepovers, etc.
I don't think I've gotten "wiser" or mature in any way. It's more like, when you step outside of the room, you start to see the chaos inside.
It is certainly a pity though.
Comment if you have anything to say or ask :)
School suck shit
The title says it all. I don't like this school. Why?
1. It's all white people (some brown). There's literally like no asians. Well they're some, but not that much. All the white people are either party/preppy type or the skater ones. And a lot of them aren't that friendly so I'm a loner in my classes/and lunch.
2. It's a linear school year, so there's 8 subjects. 4 for one day, and then the other 4 a next day. It means I have to spend a whole year with these assholes sob sob.
3. So I managed today to get some friends. This one chinese girl named J. Well we're friends and we talk a bit in class. So I asked her today if I could hang out with her at lunch. She looked at me, and said, "Oh ask V." (this other girl). so clearly, it shows that she didn't want to hang out with me. But I went and cock blocked them anyways, and met these 2 japanese guys.
^I'll probably hang out with them for only a week and ditch and hang by myself at the library, which is like the loser area = equivalent to sky bridge
4. THE SCHOOL IS SHIT ASS SMALL. THEY'RE CAFETERIA IS HALF THE SIZE OF THE SMALL GYM.
To conclude, I want to move back to NS. Probably will for grade 12.
ha
sometime's it's good to lose people. it shows what a lousy scum they really were.
People
Sometimes, people can easily just piss me off. Even if they don't mean it, they're actions are annoying. Like when someone is indecisive and can't make decisions. I ask them to make one small decision and they can't decide. "Wanna go to the mall tomorrow?" "I don't know." "What do you want for your birthday?" "idk. idc." MAKE UP YOUR MIND.
Or when someone says "Idk. Idc." Oh god this is one of my biggest pet peeves. I absolutely cringe when someone says "I don't care." I just hate it. I mean, if someone says trash about, feel free to say it. But if it's me asking for your opinion or something, and they say "Oh I don't really care." Jesus. Sometimes I wish I was born a cat.
waaa
omg super junior. i've become an official ELF. need to buy their album T^T oh and beast's album too. sungmin is my favourite hehe new bias ;) right katie? ;)
anyways school sucks. getting 85% need an A UGHHHHHHHHH
how is everyone?
life sucks
man, life seriously sucks right now. first, I didn't get the job for the PNE. This girl I know who was interviewed AFTER me got a job as the candy attendant. So much for making my summer worth it. Second, my provincial marks were really bad. I thought I could've done better, but no. And I suck in socials 11 too. I wonder how bad I'll do in the other subjects that actually matter. There goes my chances of getting scholarships or even getting a job. And last, well it doesn't really make a big significance but my social life isn't doing so well either hahaha.. Best summer ever, eh?
Hmm
People pissing me off now. But i'll just not comment on their bad behaviour.
Friend Post #2
Okay guys Im going to describe the people I hang with the first person is a guy named Jason.
Well first off, he's a pervert. He likes to look at anime hentai on his PSP and stay up everyday at 2'o clock to watch his anime porn. Most of them are GUY X GUY. His favourite position for guyxguy hentai is the TEABAG. It's self-explanatory. He likes to practice this move on his friends when they are asleep and vulnerable, because it turns him on when they are moaning to it. Jason is the type of guy that also likes to watch people do private business in their rooms. He needs to learn when to knock and mind his own business when a person is feeling the need to dance :)
He thinks he's sooooo tough when he threatens people. Especially LG's. He calls them failure and stuff, but he's only reflecting on himself. Since he can't read the board for his life and takes forever to write down notes so the whole class ends up waiting for him.
Jason also has a habit of taking a massive number 2 in people's houses. Even a girl. ESPECIALLY a girl's house. Man...I don't know what goes through his head.
Did you know? Jason is a pussy. He got scared one time when my mom was standing inside watching him from the outside. HAHAHAHAHAHAH what a loser.
All in all, Jason is good at moving his buttocks and move those hips. Girls comment on his ass, but he only cares about what them boys care about. He also likes to lead on many guys. RS, AW, PF, DD, KL, JN, SN, etc. He likes to dance like a pervert, watch hentai, and game all night.
P.S. Jason is a chink so he probably can't read anything.
P.S.S. His last name too long to spell, pronounce, or look at.
SURPRISE
More pointless rants. I really dislike it when I'm not in the mood for anything, and all of a sudden people stop by my house on surprise. I don't like surprises. Only good ones. Like birthdays. That's the only exception. Other than that, when people just come to my house uninvited when I'm looking scrubbed or in a bad mood, it's just like in my head "How should I tell them to leave nicely?" Just call. Don't stop by uninvited.
People
I don't know if it's me or them. I just have moments where everyone pisses me off. Even though it's not intentional, what they say or do just is annoying. Mostly what they say.
My Summer
So I decided to not volunteer, and instead get a job. Don't ask me why. I just seriously need to get me some life skills/street smarts. Volunteering can't cut it.
SO.
MY DAY DURING THE SUMMER
8:30 - 11:30 summer school
12-ish to IDK 5-6 would be work
and the rest of my time would be to party in my room.
im planning to apply in the fleetwood area. I'm going to pick up applications tomorrow, actually.
Vietnam Part1
So remember when I said I'd post up pictures? Well sorry for breaking that promise. I've only uploaded some. I'll upload more tomorrow. Here's just a gist of what happened. I got way more pictures to upload. :)
The city at night is so pretty. I love it. It's not like in Canada, where everyone goes to sleep. More people go out during the nighttime then daytime. it's soooo fun to go walking on the streets and especially moterbiking!
YUM !
Isn't she cute ^.^
My grandpa, grandma, and my handsome cousin !
THE DREADED COUNTRY
The first mountain I went to. LOOK AT ALL THOSE MOFO PEOPLE
Believe me. Climbing up and down this 100 TIMES IS NO FUN
ew
Haha looks easy right. Now imagine climbing up and down this 80 times and its so much steeper going up AND down.
Oh dear god :(
What's on my mind
Honestly, life is really boring now. There's not much excitement. I can't wait till summer. The thing is, it's like, one and a half months away. WHAT A LONG TIME ;___;
I'm taking summer school which is gonna be a bore. OH and for those who want to know about my hair masks.
COCONUT MILK IS LOVE. Don't use too much, or else your hair will get oily ;__; trust me. Just put your hair over the sink, and pour some of the milk over your DRY hair. Put your hair in a shower cap for 30 mins - 1 hour and Voila~ ! then go and wash it our of your hair then shampoo + condition.
OLIVEOIL&HONEY
Just microwave 3 tsp of olive oil, then add like a ton of honey then do the same. Drizzle on hair, wait, then wash out.
/ honey & olive oil isn't as effective IMO.
LIKE REALLY :(
I always get my hopes up way too high. It gets annoying when you set your expectations up there, only to have them crushed and get disappointed later on.
W/E
It doesn't matter to me about looks anymore. yeah, I still get self-conscious when I see all those pretty kpop girls or the super skinny girls at the mall. But, we're all going to shrivel up like raisins anyways, right?
Koizora
Hai guise. Today, I'm downloading for the first time, a Japanese movie called, "Koizora." I heard it was really sad (almost as sad as 1 Litre of tears apparently). Half of the movie is 700 MB .___. 1400 MB -> 1.4 GB! It's worth it :)
There's also a drama, but the cast isn't as good-looking and I heard it wasn't as good as the movie.
+The reason why I'm downloading them is maybe we should watch it over at someone's house? I downloaded the subtitles with it too <3 I won't watch it yet :D
Labels: friends, japanese movie, koizora, sad
I LIKE TO WATCH PORN
Hmm
Sorry for not going on. I don't feel like talking to anyone right now :(